The Sexuality Catch, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and guys utilize love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles analyze good sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, making love brings enormous significance and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels aside from physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the chance to make love with someone we are attracted to incredibly tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which address acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel very near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are involuntary and strong , leading to effective feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, well-being, nearness, and love .

But when problems emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is great!" They most likely wouldn't confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, states that a lot of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in cosmopolitan locations, More about the author sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is important. Chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, goals, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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