The Sex Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries enormous significance and effects.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready also).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other individual may be a match on levels aside from physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the chance to make love with someone we are drawn in to exceptionally difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , causing powerful sensations of destination, excitement, nearness, love, and well-being .

Our site But when issues emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They more than likely wouldn't confess it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that a number of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in urban locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

Nevertheless, North includes, his explanation "I suspect this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do More Info wish to mention that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, values, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!

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