The Sensuality Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex brings immense significance and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be excellent as well).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
So, instead of looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels aside from physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the chance to make love with someone we are drawn in to very difficult to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , causing powerful feelings of attraction, enjoyment, nearness, wellness, and love .

When issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is terrific!" They most likely wouldn't confess it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, says that a lot of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in cosmopolitan additional resources areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

North adds, "I believe this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is important. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with common sense. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, values, and objectives -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!

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