The Intimacy Temptation, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex brings immense meaning and effects.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).

B.more typically, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are drawn in to exceptionally difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel extremely near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and uncontrolled , causing powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, well-being, closeness, and love .

However when problems develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is terrific!" They more than likely would not admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, says that much of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in urbane areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

North includes, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to these details point out that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a offered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with common sense. While excellent sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, goals, and values -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Intimacy Temptation, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar