The Intimacy Deception, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs analyze good sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, making love brings immense meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent too).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
So, instead of looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are drawn in to very difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , resulting in powerful sensations of attraction, enjoyment, closeness, love, and wellness .

But when issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is fantastic!" They most likely would not confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their like it main scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, says that much of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in urban locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

North includes, "I believe this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with typical sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, values, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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